It barks at no-one else but me, like it's seen a ghost I guess it's seen the sparks a-flowin, no-one else would know
Sometimes I get overcharged, that's when you see sparks They ask me where the hell I'm going At a 1000 feet per second
i got a job offer when i think about my school fees my normally-innocuous-organs start cartwheeling but there was a familiar, haunting feeling about that office probably warning me not to fall into the trap again (maybe cause i'm traumatized) so. to sell my soul for the sake of school ( worse, i may need to travel sometimes!) or to remain patient and...possibly die? (or end up thankful) decision due friday. how nice.
as i took a long cold shower minutes ago i felt the weight of the exhaustion starting to sink in like huge boulders i need to stop i need a holiday (fucking dream on) i need something new. i need some happy sparks. i need a change i need some fucking acceleration, this has been a complete drag!!
well, i'm not gonna find it. it'll happen when it happens hmm strange, that just brings me back right to where i started.
ps: someone told me, i dont have to be told what to do. if i'm thirsty, i'd grab a drink. if it's not safe, i cant keep it. if its hurting me, i need to put it away. if i'm injured, i should nurse it. waiting for the doctor will only lead to more bleeding in the meantime.
pps: grey's ep21 will be on today!!!! CANNOT WAIT. *starfish dance*
today i sat alone for 5 hours with books and laptop that thankfully lasted for abt 2 hrs then i wasnt alone, and so i waited for the sun to set
i like how the leaves float lifelessly and let the waves rock them side to side i like the thought of how they'd hope to drift further away and never hit the rocks i like how it had a subtle, comforting rhythm i like how the sound they made was a warm invitation for me to join them
i made a little boat out of a thin piece of paper. it stayed afloat for a very, very long time, despite the strong waves. :}
and then the sun was gone, but the sky was kind enough to let bits of orange linger a little longer for the fishermen (and me). it was too comforting to end.
my camera may be dying but it still gave all that its got =]
How come I end up where I started How come I end up where I went wrong Won't take my eyes off the ball again You reel me out then you cut the string
You used to be alright What happened? Did the cat get your tongue Did your string come undone One by one
i cant be more worried than i am now! i hope i didnt screw up this morning's S.A interview with my too-honest answers, i'm really just hoping for the best (insyaallah). i reaaaaalllly need that award!
asyraf: aku mcm ada feling those yg shortlisted will get
(I hope you're right)
will be heading to wcp later on, weather's really great, especially the impending-storm kind of chill. i'm determined to cover at least 4 chaps from positive psych, i was supposed to have done 3-5 yesterday but :(
i have so much things im planning to do once i'm done with the papers. i also need to look for frames. 2 really large frames. ive got a huge grey's poster!! :} and i still have got the fucking big nike zoom team poster. god knows where i'm gonna put these up, i dont really want to cover up so much of my clean purpley walls. :B
maybe i'll go buy a house today.
ps: trying to keep my head above the water. i'll be alright, i'll be alright.
the military has proven to kill 2 people i have loved and replaced them with a couple of empty vessels.. maybe i should really join the force too and get rid of the stranger stuck in this (soon) 23yr old (and virgin :} ) body thats suffered immense damages beyond repair.
an old friend posted my formerly favourite quote from fight club in his fb. reminds me how far i've come and how, strangely, i seem to be reliving it all.
i'll be alright.
We're rotten fruit We're damaged goods What the hell, we've got nothing more to lose One gust and we will probably crumble We're backdrifters -r.head
talking to you can sometimes (when you stay put) be so therapeautic. i wonder why?
it's starting to creep in. i hope it'll be gone soon.. in other news, exams in 2 weeks and ive yet to get started. maybe i will shut everything down and marathon tonight. hmm.
and when (or how) did that happen?
ps: hanie's been really funny (and talkative) lately. i adore her more each passing day.
But, even when our hopes give way to reality and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we've lost today's battle. Not tomorrows war. Here's the thing about surrender, once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were even fighting in the first place.
gonna start proper mugging tomorrow and gonna start putting the wall up
